By Lisa Rietzke, RN, BSN | Sleepytime by Lisa
It’s bedtime. You’ve changed the diaper, put on the pajamas, dimmed the lights, and completed your bedtime routine. You’re ready to relax.
There’s just one problem: your baby has other plans!
Instead of settling down, your little one cries, squirms, or suddenly becomes wide awake. Maybe your baby falls asleep in your arms but wakes up as soon as you put them in the crib. If you have a toddler, bedtime might involve requests for another book, another drink, or one more hug.
Sound familiar?
As a registered nurse and infant sleep consultant, I understand how exhausting bedtime struggles can be. When your baby fights sleep night after night, it’s easy to wonder whether you’re doing something wrong.
Here’s what I want parents to know: A baby who fights bedtime isn’t necessarily being difficult. Your little one may be communicating a need, adjusting to a developmental change, or struggling with the timing of sleep.
Let’s explore five common reasons babies fight bedtime and what you can do to help.
1. Your Baby Is Overtired—or Not Tired Enough
Believe it or not, a baby can be too tired to settle easily!
When babies stay awake longer than they can comfortably manage, they may become fussy, restless, and difficult to soothe. On the other hand, a baby who hasn’t built up enough sleep pressure may resist bedtime simply because they aren’t ready to sleep.
What parents can do:
• Pay attention to your baby’s individual sleep cues.
• Keep track of naps, wake-up times, and bedtime.
• Consider whether the final nap ends too late or the period before bedtime is too long.
• Make gradual schedule adjustments rather than changing everything at once.
Remember, newborns, older infants, and toddlers have different sleep needs. There’s no single schedule that works for every child.
2. Your Baby Needs a Predictable Bedtime Routine
Babies benefit from familiar patterns. Repeated activities help them anticipate what comes next and recognize when the day is winding down.
If bedtime changes significantly from night to night, your little one may have trouble settling.
What parents can do:
Create a simple routine you can repeat most evenings. It might include a warm bath, pajamas, an appropriate feeding, a short story, a lullaby, and a familiar goodnight phrase.
Your routine doesn’t have to be elaborate. Consistency matters more than perfection.
3. Your Baby Is Going Through a Developmental Change
Babies grow quickly! Learning to roll, sit, crawl, pull up, or walk can affect sleep patterns. Some babies also become more aware of separation from their caregivers as they get older.
You may notice that your baby previously settled easily but now cries when you leave the room or seems determined to practice a new skill instead of sleeping.
What parents can do:
• Keep your bedtime routine familiar.
• Offer extra reassurance and connection before bed.
• Give your baby opportunities to practice new skills during waking hours.
• Maintain a calm, predictable approach.
Sometimes your baby needs reassurance and a few adjustments as they grow.
4. Your Baby Is Hungry, Uncomfortable, or Needs Attention
Sometimes the answer to “Why does my baby fight bedtime?” is simpler than you think.
Hunger, a wet diaper, an uncomfortable room, teething, illness, or other sources of discomfort can make settling difficult. Younger babies may also need nighttime feeds depending on their age and individual needs.
What parents can do:
Before assuming your baby is resisting sleep, check their basic needs. Consider whether your little one needs a feeding, a diaper change, comfort, or help with an underlying issue.
If bedtime resistance appears suddenly or comes with signs of pain, illness, or feeding difficulties, contact your child’s pediatrician.
Always remember: crying at bedtime shouldn’t automatically be dismissed as a sleep habit.
5. Your Baby Is Overstimulated
Bright lights, loud sounds, visitors, active play, and exciting activities close to bedtime can make winding down difficult.
Your baby might appear wide awake even when they’re ready for rest.
What parents can do:
• Dim the lights as evening approaches.
• Reduce loud noises and stimulating activities.
• Choose quiet activities, such as reading or gentle interaction.
• Keep the sleep space comfortable.
• Use a familiar bedtime routine to signal that the day is ending.
For infants, always follow safe sleep guidance: place your baby on their back on a firm, flat sleep surface, with no loose blankets, pillows, or stuffed toys in the sleep space.
Let’s Make This Practical: A Bedtime Check-In!
Parents, let’s put these tips into practice. Think about the last few nights and answer these questions:
1. What does bedtime look like in your home?
• A. My baby gets fussy and cries.
• B. My baby seems wide awake and wants to play.
• C. My baby falls asleep but wakes when I put them down.
• D. My toddler keeps asking for one more thing.
2. What happens before bedtime?
• A. Naps are inconsistent.
• B. We have a different bedtime routine every night.
• C. Our evenings are busy and stimulating.
• D. We follow a routine, but bedtime is still difficult.
3. What’s one thing you can try tonight?
Choose one small change: observe your baby’s sleep cues, begin winding down earlier, repeat a familiar bedtime routine, or reduce stimulation before bed.
You don’t have to change everything at once!
Keep track of what happens over the next few nights. Patterns may help you understand what’s contributing to your baby’s bedtime struggles. If you’re concerned about your child’s health or sleep, consult your pediatrician.
When Should You Seek Help?
Sometimes, bedtime resistance is part of normal infant or toddler development. Other times, families need additional support.
Consider seeking guidance if bedtime consistently becomes stressful, your baby struggles to settle despite a predictable routine, or frequent night wakings are affecting your family’s well-being.
At Sleepytime by Lisa, I help families understand their child’s sleep patterns and explore individualized strategies for healthier sleep habits.
My services include infant sleep consulting, sleep training support, newborn care, and virtual consultations. In-home sleep consulting is available in Chicago and Milwaukee, with virtual support available nationwide.
Every baby is different, and sleep solutions should reflect your child’s age, health, feeding needs, and your family’s preferences.
Bedtime Doesn’t Have to Be a Battle!
When your baby fights bedtime, it’s tempting to search for one magic trick that will solve everything.
But better sleep often begins with understanding what’s happening.
Your baby may be overtired, undertired, overstimulated, uncomfortable, or adjusting to a developmental change. A predictable routine, careful observation, and age-appropriate strategies can help you identify what your little one needs.
Start small. Watch for patterns. Keep your baby’s comfort and safety at the center of your decisions.
And remember, asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re looking for ways to support your baby and your family.
Ready for calmer evenings and more predictable sleep?
Let’s work together to make bedtime less stressful!
Connect with Sleepytime by Lisa:
🌐 Website: https://sleepytimebylisa.com/
👩🏽⚕️ Learn more about Lisa: https://sleepytimebylisa.com/about
📩 Email: lisa.sleepytime@gmail.com
📞 Call or text: (765) 366-3790
Lisa Rietzke, RN, BSN | Sleepytime by Lisa
Let’s continue the conversation! What is the biggest bedtime challenge in your home right now: getting your baby to settle, staying asleep, or keeping a consistent routine? Share your experience in the comments.